VP or Secretary? I really dunno which 1 shld I run for mann?! I know the possibility of getting Secretary is super high - since i've been doing all the shitty documental jobs, and seems like i'm still giving pple a weaker feel. When can I change this impression? I dun think it’s cuz of my size physically (I know it does play a small consideration), but I supposed my character is still not strong enough, esp my self-esteem. I always cant make up my mind, dunno why m I so poor in such important traits. Can’t I be more certain in decision-making? Always cant decide when I’m given a choice, or else I’ll be regretting for making the decision. Y m I so freckled-minded? Can’t I just be firmed enough to decide on one confidently without hesitation & regret? Even b4 tdy’s voting of different post for the 4th exco of eMIX, I still have to call Fei-zai to decide which post I shld run for. Really feel very useless. He told me to run 4 VP since I wanted to. At 1st I dinno that he actually have underlying-reasons 4 encouraging me to do so ~ “At least I tried running 4 VP, even though I dun get it.” I understand his reason, cuz if I din try, I will regret 4 not trying after the voting. Suddenly I feel like a beam of light has just enlightened me. In addition, last night he has told me my other bad point -> tend to take pple 4 granted! Actually, he’s not the 1st one who told me tat anyway, but I guess even thou I’ve tried to change, I’ve returned to the same old me again! Haiz.. issit really tat impossible 4 me to change? He told me tat I’ll lose a lot of fwenz that way – I think it’s rather true! I dun really have many fwenz now! But I guess I have lesser fwenz now not really because of that only lah! Cuz I dun think I’ll take my very close n good fwenz 4 granted, perhaps just those acquaintances?! Having his words in mind, I think I gotta self-reflect more often after my mid-term mann… Feel so bad! Haiz… Without much wrong judgment, I was chosen to be the secretary despite I confessed my preferred post is VP. Actually my prediction was rather accurate -> President: Mich, Marketing: Can, IT: Jun… But I was quite unexpected that Vida & Nic tied in their votes for VP ~ cuz of my self-vote, they tied (cuz 7 voters altogether: 3 for each and 1 for myself). Then we re-vote again, just by thinking that Vida is someone who is rather too soft-spoken alone, n with the rush of time, I voted Nic as VP. After seeing the disappointment on Vida’s face, I felt so guilty! Actually, if we vote again, mayb she can get treasurer post -> cuz just b4 we intended 2 vote, she just let Kun to take treasury post. How thoughtful she is?! I supposed she must be thinking that since she din get wad she wan, she also dun wan others to feel the same as her, n make herself feel guilty for taking up a post that the other wanted so much more than her. I really feel very bad 4 u leh! I owe u VIDA! Cuz after much consideration, I think if I were 2 b given a chance, I would rather vote 4 u than Nic, I’ve forgotten Nic’s weak points -> which are so much more than Vida (from what I see)! Haiz… I’m really a sucker in making decision, esp with in a time-rush situation. I dunno how?! Have to face Nic as a VP for the rest of the year, hope that she can control her bad points & really contribute as well as if Vida were 2 be the VP lor! Vida, I wun forget tat time ur individual consolation & encouragement during Art Fest rehearsal, I was really touched – cuz u were the only one who rmb me, supported me, make me strong! I really put my hat off u! I LIKE U VIDA! Pls dun blame me 4 my mistake! I really feel very guilty inside! =(