"One By One"

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
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Never feel so "SICK" before!!!
I just feel like puking now! I ate rice just now [though I was not hungry], my stomach just feel damn bloated! My eyes just feel like closing, even though I'm walking. But I can't zzz, cuz I have CAT [on EXCEL] assignment due tmr! and later stil got the 17th-mag "QoQ" chit chat meet up session at TCC @ Cine - Sianz... I don't know what I can do now. I just feel like vomiting everythg out! HOW? But i can't vomit! HOW??? HELP!!!

12:28 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
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What does "PRETTY" mean to u?

What does "PRETTY" mean to u?

Long hair? Demure? Sweet looking? Slim? Girls who wear skirts? ...

Apparently that's what i have gathered from the GUYS... these are the main characteristics that they look out for in a girls. [But maybe that could be more applicable to the locals] Why don't guys know how to use another angle to appreciate girls? Those are kinda typical princess-style of ideal girl image. I can understand, usually girls who are under that catergories tend to attract guys more easily, and attracts girls as well cuz of the pleasant look they give to people.
But won't it be unfair to those who are more sporty/ like to try out new trend (fashionable) kind of girls? Why are they so conservative & "stubborn"?
To me - there are many types of "pretty" for girls, but of cos, the main point here is that she must look alright to me! i know that's a form of discrimination/ prejudice, but i believe everyone also has that natural biasness in them! [since it's subjective]
But i just think that guys are too narrow minded, they are not flexible and opened to appreciate things that are A-typical; for instance, when girls fold up their jeans to be 3-quarts, gals will think that's cool while most guys will think u are AUNTIE; when u wear gold color jewelleries, u think it's luxurious & nice yet they will think u r like ROSY (from PCK Pte Ltd). i guess some of u might have experienced such incidents before. i think they are all too sheltered - they should be more exposed to FASHION & female taste!!!
----------- Topic ii > haven't been working hard enough
i have been wanting to lose weight by going through a detoxication programme, it was pretty successful at the start, but as i continue, without a very strict follow-through, i kept breaking the 9-days routine... it's merely 9 days, why is it so hard for me to sustain such short period of detoxication??? it's not like asking me to starve myself, but it's to reduce my intake and clease my internal interestines... why is it so hard??? why can't i just withstand all the temptation? now it's the best time, as i don't have much party / celebration to go for, so there shouldn't be much excuses that i can give myself! i must really work harder! not only on this detoxication programme, and also my studies too! i must put in more efforts already! now i can feel that all the projects are approaching! i feel kinda overwhelming now! really don't know how!?
on the other hand, as jimmy wana me to help him out with screening [since he can't think of anyone], i also don't know how to turn him down, as i can tell that he really needs me badly for this project! Though it's bring-home, but i don't think i can really give my 100% into it! i feel very bad!
also, i think i must quit my habit of eating everytime i reached home! i realized i have a very bad habit - everytime [no matter what time], once i reached home, i always rummage my fridge or drawers to search for food/ drink! most of the time, i'm not be hungry, but i just have that very BAD habit to munch and eat! OH mann.. no wonder i'm getting FAT!! :( sianz... i must really think of a remedy to change such bad habit!
YES!!! i can do it! i must continue to motivate myself mann!!! JIA YOU! i MUST do it!

10:49 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Sunday, October 22, 2006
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PhotoShoot! ~ I like!

Feeling so lazy to get up cuz i worked till quite late again on last nite, but i have no choice, cuz today is queen of queens photoshoot [meeting at 9.30am - SPH]. Waiting for 125 (the only bus that go into Genting Lane) almost 15 min, there's still no bus at all, so i resorted to take a cab from Geylang. Extra charge for $1 lor!!! Cuz it's public holiday! OMG!!! Nowadays cab fares are really getting more $$$. I guess I will take cab even less often mann! Anyway, finally I have reached! Luckily I have Melissa to accompany, otherwise I surely blur blur one lor! I was the 1st to start among 3 of us [Mel & 1 more girl, Regine (NTU), reached at the same time as us] 1. Try clothes i was so happy when i put on the jeans [all sponsored by Levis], cuz it's so loose! i tot i have lost weight (cuz i told them my size is 25"), but i noticed the jeans is 27" - ChEh! No wonder lah! sianz... Both my top & bottom are so loose & big - really feel very uncomfortable. And after awhile, i noticed the rest of them got very fitting bottom - i felt so sad! they all think that it suits my look - cuz of my hair style too...

2. Make up this time round i felt much less-worried cuz the make up artists are professional, at least the auntie whom i got is very nice! seeing them using make up of different brands - MAC, Silkygirl... i really feel much relieved! anyway, only until she start to apply foundation, then i noticed how bad my dark rings & eye bags are... OH NO!! i think i must really zZz more!

3. Hair Proceeding with hair, the hair-stylist "likes" my hair - cuz mine is the most layered, which is very easy for her to style! and similar to Euphoria, she "spiked" up my hair -> the PUNK look! Surprisingly, everyone (all the other contestants) said that they like my hair too! ~ all these credits must really thanks to my hairdressor! 4. Nails i tot i have to put nail polish on my own, but not bad! they actually provide such services as well! So i don't have to apply on my own! but the girl who applied for me, was pretty rush & any-how. Luckily mine is transparent, so not that obvious! Everyone is taking photos around the rooms (1 for photoshoot, the other for make up), but unfortunately my camera was charging, so i only can depend on my hp. What a waste!!! 5. pre-shoot => ice cream! while waiting for the actual shoot, a few of us were asked to eat ice-cream [the mini cone] and they candied-shot us! we were talking, and smiling... quite fun! As usual, since we are supposed to "act" happy, i just anyhow made alot of Yummy expression lah! haha... until my face also got alot of lines... need to touch up my make up! anyway, though it's the 1st time i ate, it's really not bad! 6. Still waiting... After waited for so so long, almost everyone has left, and it's still not my turn yet! and realized that it's already 2.30+++ and i stil haven't eaten anything yet (but actually i don't feel hungry, now i know why artists always forgot to eat!). So Mel & moi went to the pantry to get a hot drink, cuz it's really cold in there. Trying to find some biscuits / edible food - still thot for sandwich since i saw some of them were eating. But there were nothing, so we ate ice-cream & self-brewed milo... We both really self-service: Mel even got creamer from the fridge! haha... so funny! We gossiped and that was really quite fun! So long nv gossip already! ~ i realized we shared quite alot of similar views... both of us are the "heck-care" group, which is totally opposite from the rest of them! Maybe that's why i feel much easier for me this time - purely experience gaining!

7. the SHOOT [At last]

SAY LEE (the person in charge, initially i tot her name is LEE, cuz she said report to say lee) thinks that i've been waited till i wana die - but actually it's not that bad! in fact, i think being one of the last few to take photo, not as stressed, cuz of less crowd, and i think they are more relaxed, probably put in more effort in taking better photo! at least, i don't mind!

Janice [the stylist] was very cute & funny, she initially thot i dont need a belt, but i suggested a gold one, cuz of the gold egg - as accessories, and it turned out to be NICE! ~ "Whao! u can be a stylist!" While we were waiting & looking at how the others are shot, my make up "auntie" also were sitting there and see their photos... she is so nice! she was like saying that i should be a branding/ tai tai, Regine should be a tai-tai (cuz her hair was like those oldern shanghai time), and Mel (small meggie mee - pon-pon hair) should be an artist! haha.. she is so funny! Judging from our looks, and she also said that Jamie (the last contestant to reach) will surely be a PR gal! She is so fortunate, the very afternoon she will be flying to SOUEL for a 1-week holiday! Hmm... i ALSO want! 8. During the shoot i tried to chat with the male model (David), thought maybe it'll be easier to take better photo... but "errr..." (puke!) he must be thinking that he has a pretty face, then ya-ya! he sound so arrogant until i don't even feel like talking to him anymore! yux... tat's why i don't really like good-looking guys! With their Ego, they always think they are very good like that! A few of the contestants even took photo with him [personally] & ask for his no. Erm... No wonder he so YA-YA... i think he should be YUX lor! After a long day shoot, i went to the brand new VIVO CITY at harbourfront to watch "death note" with Zhuang & Joyce. Actually i hesitated for quite awhile cuz very last min - i then learnt that Wei Zhang's 21st bday is tonite! But i think i too long nv watch movie with zhuang they all already! tat's why i chose THEM! haha... the show was unexpected not-bad! i kinda quite like it as i watched... but the chair (head rest) was kinda uncomfortable, that's why i was feeling not too well! Somemroe i have been so lacked of zzz lately, it's normal to have headahce! But of cos, after seeing so many people, the human flow really causing me much headache & "sian-ness". Everywhere is people! I guess now i somehow understand why adults always don't like to go to crowded places! i think i'm getting that feelings too! sianz... :( To avoid the crowd, we stayed outside and chatted for hours... i don't even remmeber when was the last time we had such long girls' chat... so relaxed, carefree, talk about anything.. really it's so nice to have such moment! If it's not cuz we had to catch the last bus, i guess we would just stayed there throughout! Joyce was lucky - managed to catch her bus "100", whereas Zhuang & i really missed the last bus "10", luckily there's still bus "30", though it doesn't go to our houses, but at least it can drives us to somewhere nearer and save us $ on our cab fare! WELL! i would said today is a very fulfilling day! i'm very satisfied!

2:34 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
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a typical tues - lesson, meeting ... unusual tues - hair cut, 1-to-1 interview on consumer products... since this sat is photoshoot for Q-o-Q, i thought of having a haircut to somehow have a more refreshed look. but one big mistake - should have wore contact lens when i go n get hair cut, so at least if there's unsatisfaction, u can raise it to ur hairdressor immediately! otherwise - u will end up like me, got worst than b4 (i think) then... rushing down to Starbucks for my 1-2-1 interview on skin care & make up products... luckily the 2 clients (female) are pretty friendly & easy to talk to (or maybe that's the general traits for marketing departments), i had quite a good time sharing my opinions with them. in fact, i think i might have talked too much! but hopefully it helps! well... after doing quite alot of things today, now i think it's the time to get back to study! today IE lesson - i was really loss, i don't really know what he was talking about! and he went through so many chapters... oh no... must really buck up from now onwards! 2 more weeks and it's 2nd online test - the 1st test i did so badly, it's really time to do well now!! *Stress!!! anyway, i tot i was keeping to my diet, but unfortunately, i was tempted again and ate bread today! so sinful! oh mann... no way! i shall not eat bread again from tmr onwards! BREAD -> go away!!!

7:42 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Monday, October 16, 2006
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Happie Bdae Jun Jun... So sad tat we can't celebrate with u [physically]! But really hope tat u will enjoy ur bday today! Miss u lots... Fill us in how u celebrate ok? Take care! May ALL ur wishes come true! Can't wait to see u! :)

11:53 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Tuesday, October 10, 2006
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Haiz... don't know what's wrong with me? This week is term break, but i'm still so slack & not working hard enough! OMG!!! How? What should i do to push myself further?! Everyone told me that i'm too busy, that's why i'm trying to slack so that i can find valid excuses to rest! But i somehow think that i'm not busy enough! i really feel very uneasy about it - not keeping myself occupied enough! Ended up... Getting more & more slack & lazy! What should i do to get myself & energy up again? Please help me!!! I don't wana feel so miserable! i have tried to study, but the more i read, the more i feel like zzz! No motivation to study! Haiz... jia lat lah! Supposed to work harder this week, but i'm not! OH no.... :(

2:43 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Saturday, October 07, 2006
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ARGH!!! the HAZE is sooooo SICKENING!!! i CAN'T BREATH already!!! SUFFOCATION! HEADACHE! STICKY! CAN'T do work!!! *** Sianz... ***

10:44 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Whao... What a Chalet?! That's so fast!!!

Yday we celebrated Chin's 21st Bday @ Aloha Loyang [rather ulu-pandan chalet besides downtown east @ pasir ris]! As i know we will surely be eating alot of party-food, so i woke up very early & went for a jog. But... Stupid haze... or maybe because i'm not used to jogging early in the morny [8am]; or maybe cuz the after effect from the nite-b4 jog [an hour] was acting on my muscles, so i didn't manage to hit my target [1hour jog]! i only managed to run for 30min. In order to make myself not to feel so guilty, i walked for the other half-an-hour. i thought i would start my "detox" diet today! and hoping very hard i'll be able to stay away from all the temptation from Chin's party. But... i flopped! Haiz... :( Cuz i went to China Town to help my mum 2 buy some stuffs, & b4 that, i went to Shenton Way to settle tix stuffs with Carol [Studio Wu]. As i tot i still have quite alot of time, and since i'll pass by China Square as i walk to to China Town, so i dropped-by at my favourite SHOE's Push Cart! At least to say HI to the gal! But she was rather busy at that time, so while waiting for her, i went to take a look at the other push cart, and just happened tat i spotted a pair of shoes, so i chatted with the push cart owner for almost an hour (i think, though i didn't check with time)! i think this is what we called "FATE"! Unexpectedly, we chatted for so long, and we had quite alot to chat. As i wana to check a pair of red heels out, so after i went back to Alegra, but unfortunately, there's slightly difference of the badge that they have now, as compared to the one i wanted. So... i missed that pair of shoes! But also it's a good news - so i can save $70!!! Haha.. since i've chatted so much & well with the other [new] push cart gal [elieen], she gave me discount ($40) for the pair of shoes! Hee... That's why sometimes it's good to chat alittle more with the shopkeeper, esp females! haha.. But she's really very nice lah! She chatted from push cart rental all the way to Media Corp Artist, she even said i look like "Aw Xuan" - don't know how to spell. What a correlation?! Then, as i was trying to rushed down to Chin's party, just happened to bump into Aaron [SMU now, he was from Temasek JC-breaker] at the bus stop! What a coincidence?! Anyway, i managed to rushed to Chin's party with Ellie [& her Bin-Bin]! As we were one of the last group of people to reach, after we [faster] eat, we [joyce planned, ellie perfect the idea, and i excuted] played a BLANKET GAME [but instead, we compete to say the color of the person's Top opposite u [Since the 2 teams are separated by the Blanket]. After acting like [sort of] a clown, we managed to carry out the plan & surprised her!

We played quite alot of things... the Windsurfing had so many ROCKET 101 Trials; [Though all trials failed!];

208 had our mini-fireworks [using sparkles to write 208]

& CHOCO-CAKE ATTACK!!! haha... It's our tradition! What to do?

Then, we kept ourselves occupied by talking, gossipping @ her windsurfing friends... we even have a JACKIE CHAN here! [According to Ellie] B4 they left, they opened presents! and coincidentally, all her friends bought her DOUBLE of the same category! 2 gym bags, 2 dresses, 2 tops, 2 necklaces, 2 shopping bags... OMG!!! Everything is double! Even our gift...

But nvm lah! At least it's all different designs.. But i think she can perform a fashion show very soon already - everyday change to different bags & dresses... haha... And just happened that the position i stood for phototaking is so RIGHT that it looks like her BF ["W" = Wilson] organising her Bday party like that! Haha... Joyce kept "praising" me for my prof-skills. haha... So funny! But seriously, he was pretty excited when Chin opened her presents, as if his bday like that! Really quite funny!

After their departure, we took turns to bath, and watched VCD - Sleeper [brought by Becky]. But cuz all of us were very tired & feel kinda comfi after shower, our unintended-to-zzz nite, ended up everyone zzz well in bed. Just tat me & Joyce were so cold in the room, thx 2 Jane who switch on the Air Con to 23 degress [lowest], both of us were like freezed to death! I even went to the room next door to get a blanket. It's really too cold! Then, after woke up in the morny, i tot i was the earliest to get up, but Zhuang & Joyce were already up! & it's already 10am. We R supposed to check out at 10.15am lor! But Ellie was still in bed - what a lazy bum bum?! And our BLUR Queen Chin mistakened that the shuttle bus timing, so we waited an hour for it since we don't wana walk / take cab! So inefficient!!! Then, we put down her stuffs & headed to PW Hawker to eat, and we chatted for pretty long b4 we went home! It's really a very fun nite, i can't even remember when was the last time we had chalet! Haiz... Well.. just hope that we can have it soon again! And we can be more prepared, like KC that time...

Once again, Thanks CHIN! Hope u have enjoyed urself too!

9:05 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Wednesday, October 04, 2006
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i really think there's something wrong with me! everyone around me is so busy & stress, yet i'm just the opposite - free & relaxed. What's going on with me? is it because of my modules that i'm taking this sem is really too relaxed already, or it's just that i'm too slack? i really feel very uncomfortable for being so "free" u know? Haiz... Don't know what to do about it? and because of this, i'm getting fatter & fatter! i've been taking in very high sugar drinks & food, no wonder i'm just putting on weight without myself knowing it! now it has become so hard & huge lump of fats, i really don't feel very positive that i can lose them off! and the more i look at my past photos, i really miss the old me! so thin & confident in myself, as i can wear anything with my satisfaction level of beauty! now i think i just look horrible in anything i wear. n i have to hide those undesired parts! worst, being unable to wear my pants, and feeling tight with my old clothes & bottoms, the feeling really sux! i just look as if i'm bursting them anytime like that! i can't think of pageant contest anymore! with such figure [or i shouldn't even consider it as figure], i don't think i can any confident to compete with others! feel so sianz... worst, i don't seem to be as busy as other people around me! i really feeling very unsecure now! it's like i'm so relaxed! and it's not that i'm doing very well in all subjects, but just lack of the drive n motivation to do anything! i really hate this feeling! suddenly i just miss working at saffron hill, though it's rather stressful, at least it kept me busy, and i always lose alot of weight working there! but apparently i have to be more strict with myself! NO MORE sugar!!! next week is my term break, but i just don't feel very excited about it, cuz so far, it's either scheduled with projects / empty! What a life i have?! Other than school work, don't i have other side of life? I seem to have no social life at all! How can it be? thus, i think next week will be just a lonely n miserable week for me! i think i'm a 100% workaholic! even though tmr i have a mid term, i'm still so slack - spent the whole afternoon on changing my blog design. Instead of studying! Somehow i feel that i've too much time to spend like that! this is really not right! Oh no... well.. i thought of going for a jog later, but just hope that i can have enough time to study too! Otherwise, i think this sem i'll really can't make it! this friday is mooncake fest, but just happened to be Chin's bday party. Surprisingly KH wana go Chinese Garden & play lanterns! Haha... i also long time never play lantern already! Esp the paper type! maybe tmr we will go n play! haha... so funny rite? so old already - both 20+, still play like 12 years kids! But most imptly, i think we will probably have fun?! Haha... :) It has been years since we last met, though we have just chatted not long ago. But i think it's still alright lah! [judging from the way we last chatted] anyway, Happie Mooncake Festival in advance!

6:09 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Monday, October 02, 2006
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ellie's bday party!

thinking that i'll probably be there on time, or at most a little late; but ended up i was pretty late! - the last one [from 208] to arrive! Oppzzz... i thought i won't be eating that much, as i was kinda feel very happy with myself for eating very small meals over the past 2 days, [cuz i was staying at home, trying to understand the CAT textbook, exam & assignment submission on wed]. But ended up i ate alot, and i still ate a large piece of bday cake! So guilty! But the cake taste good lah! well... as i reached pretty late, i felt so drifted from them like that. Joyce, Chin, Qing & Charm were next to the food and chit-chatting, while i just felt so odd & out of place, that awkward feeling really make me feel very uneasy! i don't know why also! Is it cuz we have not been meeting up? Or is it just because of myself, scare that Joyce will feel awkward when she sees me- about her bday gift?! I don't know what to say to them at 1st, so i sat beside Becky and chat with her. Then, later, ZeBin[Mama's BF/ my step-father] was kinda funny, he gathered all of us, and played a Q & A [How well u know her darling] game. With much preparation, he even have gifts for those who answer correctly! What an idea? As Mama's theme for the party is Vintage, so there's a best dressed competition, which i didn't know! No wonder Mama thought i was late cuz i was trying to dress up, and no wonder becky kept saying that everyone looks very nice! Hmm.. Now i understand! After a short little catwalk, Ellie has to be blindfolded and guess whose feet [but eventually we just gave her some food to test]. But with one exception, we gave her an insect [plastic] toy to guess, she really thought that would be food also, so she actually bited it! and then, she threw directly to the middle of the pool. Oh no.. Joyce's gift from the Q & A just gone down to the pool!

Planned perfectly, Ze Bin went to get her cake showed her while she was still blind-folded! After singing her a Bday song, Zebin also sang her a Love Song! Wooo... he's really so sweet! Watching him walking up & down, and all that he has done for Ellie, i really envy her to have such a wonderful Bday! at that very moment, how i wish i have a BF who will do all these silly yet lovely things for me! Feel like a melt ice-cream...

"want to grow old with u"...

But unfortunately, according to Qing's "fortune telling" session, i won't have anymore BF, the next one will be my husband. And i'll get married at 28, so i can see that i will just remain single for the next 6 years?! haiz.. so sad rite? Sometimes i really wish there's someone to dote on me, keep me company & "keep me occupied"! What a sad news?! Suddenly i felt so desparate!

our Fortune Guru ~ Master Zhuang

Bday gift from 208 - GUESS Watch

That's why i thought of KH suddenly! After got home, i happened to chat with him online, and ended up we chatted on the phone till Monday morny 5am! Wah... what a long chat! Thinking of our past, we really have alot of silly & funny times together! Suddenly i feel like going back to his side! But i think it's just an impulsive thought lah! Though i know that he still have some feelings for me, but i should not hurt him again! Cuz somehow i feel that we won't have any results! Well... maybe i should go n find some flings to satisfy my tempoary "needs" [keep me occupied]!? haha... what a stupid thought?!

6:28 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Sunday, October 01, 2006
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BLACKO - [O]ut ... Spending the WHOLE ENTIRE day [from 8+am till 12mn] on Excel, I really HATE Excel! Cuz of 1 of my module, i have to sit down and go through the textbook step-by-step in order to understand how to use the functions, and at the same time, i was trying to do my homework that due this coming Wed. Thanks to my friend who sent me a copy of his friend's solution, otherwise, i think i'm still stuck with the assignment now! *Phew! Sitting at my desk facing the comp the whole day till nite, suddenly everything just GONE!!! The whole house was full of DARKNESS! OMG! What's going on? Lucily my lappie's battery is still attached, otherwise all my hardwork will be gone! *Phew Phew!! But i was pretty freak out cuz it's really very dark! Not only the sky today was so dark in the day [cuz of heavy rain in the day], but now internally is also dark! Whao... I had to even use my HP to help me find my torch, which is in the dinning room. Initially i tot it's the rain that cause the whole block BLACK OUT, but the corridor was still lighted. So I checked the power box, but no matter how many times i tried to push the main [blue] switch up, it just keeps coming down! At a loss, i can't think of WHO? to seek help from... except GUO HAO! And thank god i called him just in time, cuz his movie was about to start. *Phew Phew Phew!!! Thanks to him, then everything returns to normal again! But after awhile, total Black out AGAIN! OMG! It's so disrupting! But at least this time i know how to handle it! I thought the culprit was my Hi-Fi, but after i told my mum [she came back very late!], we realized that it's the TV switch that can't be operated! ~HUH?! U mean no more TV? How can like that? I can't live without TV, now TV is my ONLY entertainment! Oh NOOOooo!!! However, after awhile, we can turn on everything, and i just slacked myself on the sofa for some relaxation. It was pretty depressing tat Sat nite has no interesting TV shows! Haiz... But at the end, just b4 i wana switch off my TV, i realized that Ch. 55 [Cable TV] is showing FULL HOUSE [Korean drama series], so ended up watching till 3am. At that time, i was kinda tired, but for hygiene reason, i better bath b4 i go to bed even though i didn't step out of my house today! As i was flipping the magazine b4 i zZz, suddenly BLACK OUT again! This time is even worst - cuz my lappie is already in zZz mode, it's totally BLACK OUT! Maybe that's the signal to get me to bed?! But it's really scary! It keeps BLACKING OUT just now! Nevertheless, i would say i'm really LUCKY today! *Phew Phew Phew Phew!!!!

3:28 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D