"One By One"

Saturday, April 29, 2006
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black hole in my stomach?! ~ i think so! feeling so tempted to eat in the morny b4 rushing out of my hse, thou i normally don't do so cuz it's really very early in the morny, just tot it might be good so that i can eat less / no eating at all during lunch! but ended up during lunch hour, i was feeling kinda hungry - i don't know why also! so after meeting serene (to collect the green tea survey - $25), i ate with her --> congee. then, later in the evening, i think may be i was too happy to meet up with my dearie 208 (thou only 3 of them - charm, qing & joyce), i was feeling hungry again - so i ate a chicken bao. then just now when i reached home, i wondered if it's cuz i zzz at joyce's hse while they were planning their route from researching online, then i felt hungry again - and i binged so much --> cereals, pumpkin seeds, bread, grapefuit juice ... oh mann.. what's wrong with my stomach ? i wonder why m i eating so much mann?! i thot my flu will probably cause to lose appetite, how come it turn out to be the opposite? oh mann .. surely next thursday photo shoot will turn out a fat chubby me on the banner! shit!!! well.. tdy i went down to a part time job interview after meeting serene for lunch - what a weird place?! had a hard time finding such a deserted place lor! after i walked in to the office (with one 2 doors separating the two rooms from receptionist to the other room, i was being interviewed there). The person in charge sound pretty convincing and rather well-phrased that they are ADVERTISING agency, but a small one, not those being seem on tv / prints, they normally perform DIRECT ADS = directly meet the clients. actually i already thot it's a scam, and i confirmed it when he emphasize on "sales" after i've mentioned that i think i can convince people to purchase product. i saw he "graded" me with an "A+" (how i wish this is my acedemic results?!) so i was expecting his call really soon! and after checking out with him on the phone - i'm RIGHT! it's simply direct marketing! ~ i really hate this kind of people, they are just anyhow using words to cover for themselves, and made themselves so incredible! it appears to me that they don't even know the meaning of advertising, tat guy in charge still dare to tell me that this is DIRECT ADS, omg!!! shame on him mann!!! then, i decided to surprise my friend - charm (208), i did it! and i also had a surprise! joyce n qing will be joining us later, cuz they need to plan for the route of their taipei trip! while waiting 4 the 2 slow snails / late queens to arrive (late 4 an hour), i talked non-stop to charm, despite my (sore) throat is getting drier n drier! and i guess that could be the reason why i consume so much tdy?! hmm... think i'll never lose weight mann! sianz... then later, cuz my lappie no more batt 4 them to surf net, we went to joyce house. on the way, we happened to bumped in to CHIN's "HAPPY~HAPPY", we teased chin about it by sending her the similar sms that she sent to joyce earlier. yet she stupid dumb dumb still dare to say i'm very weird, someone who always save on sms would actually send this kind of msg! HEY CHIN! i admit that i used to be rather particular about sms, but now i'm not already ok?! don't make me sound so stingy can?! *bleh* :P after seeing how excited they are about the trip, i wish i could go with them also! esp with that busha ard (she even suggested to bring U-Zap & arbo-block there, so as to prevent from wt-gain) - so nonsense rite?! haha... think they will surely enjoy themselves! too bad! i cant go! in fact, now i'm stuck in sg cuz of my stupid passport! HAIZ... :(

2:10 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Thursday, April 27, 2006
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Planning well for my holidays -- even think of what to bring & wear for my long-waited trip, yet BAD NEWS come! Waking up super early just to head down to British High Commission to renew my passport, the security was super strict - i had to hand them all my electronic devices (hp & MP3) & my IC... and have to go through the security check - oh pls... as if i will bring a gun or sth?! Then, feeling rather positive with my passport renewal, yet that stupid Indian woman (counter) refused to help me to fasten the process of renewal. Explaining to her that i need to fly back urgently, she seemed to doubt my reason of urgency. Offering only 3 options to me: (1) Renew my passport but forego my trip, cuz i can only collect it by 11 May (which i have already returned); (2) Head down to Chinese Embassy to try making a CHINESE passport since it's just next door; (3) Offer me a temporary flight document for my to fly t o HK, but this only permit one way trip, so if i were to fly back, i have to wait till HK Department to finish the renewal process. I was so stunk and lost - I don't know what to do. Thinking that apply CHINESE passport seems to be the most positive way out, so I tried. however, after going up, the whole embassy was so crowded, and after waited impatiently for a few minutes, i noticed that they will be closed the next whole week -- oh mann! that means even though they work super fast (VERY unlikely) i still cannot collect it by next week. I don't care, i just asked the counter to double confirm. I'm right! they are much slower - they need 6 weeks to process! Haiz... such inefficiency really pissed me off even more! Wondering what should I do? Should i give up? Or call up HK immigration department (suggested by the chinese embassy teller)? I chose to try my luck in persuading that Indian woman again! I wanted to call my mum, but remembering that she didn't bring her HP to work, i'd no one to turn to! i'm all alone with tears almost dripping down. Walking back to British High Commission again [even the security guard also found it weird about my return], that Indian woman saw me and asked me how's it. I explained to her, yet she still said, "Not possible!" Perhaps it's my flu, i've got more n more emotional that i couldn't control myself but just talked with tears down. Feeling so difficult to talk, like going to suffer from suffocation. She tried to cool down, saying that she will try to help me fast-forward the renewal process - but no promise! Haiz... But at least she said she will try, better than nothing. Justn hope that she really try and able to give me my passport by next wed / thurs! PLEASE!!! Don't do this to me! Actually I was kinda regret 4 not telling her more about my reasons for going back, i should have exaggerated more - like say that it's my grandma's 70's years old bday, instead of just said that it's her bday; and i should have added that it's very important cuz all my oversea relatives are all going back as well, so i have to go back! But luckily i didn't lie that i'm going back for a funeral (which came across my mind when i was leaving to the CHINESE Embassy). Also, luckily I've brought extra cash, otherwise, i wonder how M i gonna pay (cuz they only accept CASH - so troblesome rite?) I think i'm really unlucky! last nite i checked my results, i studied so hard for my ethics, yet i've got only "B" !!! What the ... i tried my very best to finish covering all chapters, read till my brain going to burst, yet i still got lower than my classmate, who read only half of the textbook & hardly speak up in class. Not trying to compare with others, but i just feel that i'm really "dao-mei" (unlucky) , everything starts to happen on me all over again! OMG!!! When can this stop coming all at the same time?! I got quite strong feeling that my trip to HK is over! So JUN - don't worry! U won't be lonely, cuz u still have me to accopmany u !!! :(

1:27 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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rUnnInG … RuNNiNg … nOseeee … Damn it! After so long, then I start to fall sick! Haiz… must be the weather!!! Yday I was so delighted – cuz I’m going back to HONG KONG!!! I called my aunt, and her reply was… “YESSS!!!” haha… we even have a rough plan – Saturday: Macau + dinner celebration at night; Sunday: Disneyland, Monday & Tuesday: no plan as yet!! So excited!!! J As I was booking ticket, I realized that my passport is going to expire on 26 April (Today). Oh mann… what’s the matter mann?! When I finally decided to go back, this kind of problem arise! Haiz… so my mum & I rushed down to British Commission after a quick & “full”lunch - as we remembered they close pretty early. Unfortunately, we still wasted our trip as they closed at 12 nn, what a LAZY BUM they are?! Closed so early - It’s not even office hour lah! Haiz… thinking of going there today, but I’ve morning class from 830 – 12. So I can only go down again on Thurs. meanwhile I have to take passport size photo… Now I just hope that I can still make it to book ticket and collect my passport on time!!! *crossing my fingers* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This morny, suddenly I’ve a slight running nose, I think it must be the weather. Haiz… I still thought I could go back to enjoy, now together with sore throat! I really wonder how m I gonna enjoy?!

2:39 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Monday, April 24, 2006
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Burn the floor @ $16.80 (cheapest S$58) So cheap rite? Haha… because the school subsidize for our ticket (70%) –the “reason”being that we are holding a dance concert really soon (end of july), so it’s very “beneficial” 4 us 2 watch it! Haha… Unfortunately, the [cheapest] seats were very far from the stage, there’s no BIG screen, so we can barely c their faces, not even their costumes! Behind us, the aunties were watching with their binoculars, so u can imagine how bad our seats are!! On top of that, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed the show as much as expected – cuz of the company that I went with. We hardly have any conversation that lasts more than 5 sentences. Pretty sad huh?! What to do? Different clique mah! Haiz…

After the show, I met my mum – we went to suntec & walk-walk, as usual, just before her work resume tmr! Well! For the past few days, we have been spending much quality time together, and I realized that she is really very short-tempered, I don’t wana get involved into any argument, so I just keep quiet. Haiz… sometimes I wish she can understand how annoying it can be. I tried telling her, if I do so, then she will vent her anger – even worst! Haiz… I guess this is just an inevitable stage of a woman!

5:16 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

1st day of summer course --> advertising :: very fun! interesting course - glad tat i took it! :) but now i've a dilemma ~ Go back to Hong Kong? (YES /NO) :: YES :: (1) everyone will be backed -- all my relatives (cousins, aunties, uncles...) (2) all my friends are going away (of SG) in one way or another - makes me feel like travelling too!!! (3) grandma's bday celebration (4) SHOPPING (thou there won't be much because most likely i'll be backed only for 5 days) :: NO :: (1) very rush (2) can't really spend much time with my relatives [esp my nanny] (3) in the midst of my summer -- i'll miss one lesson of my summer if i returned (4) need to spend alot of $$$ (thou my aunt's offer for 50% air fare sponsorship might still valid) HOW??? what should i do? should i go back? my main concern is whether if i would be able to catch up with my summer course after my return, cuz everythg will be very rush, esp for project! On the other hand, i'm kinda tempted to go back cuz i hvn been backed for 4 years already, since there are so many pple going back now - i really wish i could go back n join in the fun as well! SEE!!! what a dilemma rite??? haiz... life is always full of dilemma! sianz...

3:17 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Saturday, April 22, 2006
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1st time dating with THIS guy Feeling kinda excited about tonite, cuz I’m dating a “new” guy. I purposely go gym and trying to control my diet for lunch – so that I could eat abit more during dinner. Unfortunately, I failed to do the latter. Meeting my mum again at Tampines Mall (TM)– wah… what a big change mann?! Just a few months, they have almost revamped the whole place like that. Even century square also. I always tell people that the last time I been to TM was when I was in JC, but now, I can finally understand why jimmy always says TM has it all! Supposedly to meet at Raffles Place, ( I think should be dining at Clark Quay), but due to rain, we went to Explanade 4 Japanese food (coincidentally it’s the same as the one I went with WC on Tues nite). We chatted and then walk-walk around Explanade as the rain was only pouring when I met him, and stopped after settling down at Explanade. Then, we went 4 a drink at The Fullerton. We chatted till 3am… Oh mann… so late (early) rite??? As we are talking, it’s kinda obvious that he’s (at least abit) interested in me. He is kinda “touchy” as well. I mean not being very particular about touching the waist when we crossed the road, cuz the car was rushing towards me (in fact, I thot this was very nice); or putting his arm around my waist when we are taking photo. But I JUST feel it lah! And actually I don’t really feel very comfortable about it. I noticed that his eye balls just follow whatever my “little” gestures (like hands move), erm… sound like a “chi-ko-pei” (pervert) to u? hmm… From this 1st date with him, I’ve some questions:: He’s trying to be a gentleman? Or is he a one already? – I cant tell. Probably he’s just trying to impress me? Or he’s naturally one? (somehow my instinct tells me the 1st is more likely to be) Hmm… I supposed I can only deduce it after a few more outings.

11:39 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
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Slacking like a Muah-chee … ??? i've alrdy grown up & can't return to the past? Lazing in bed and trying to get as much rest as possible, I realized it’s already 10.35am! with 10+ hours of sleep, I supposed I’m really resting!!! But waking up with all the aches – I supposed they came from my gym session and massage yday! “ARGHHH…” Dragging my feet to school 4 dance production meeting, surprisingly I was the earliest – luckily I brot my lappie, otherwise I will bored to death mann… Apparently jun is not very happy with me being kinda “quiet” during the meeting cuz I rarely contribute / throw in ideas?! Hmm… at that point in time, there is a sudden “hit”on me à am I really cut out 4 advertising field? It seems like I’m not as creative as what I thought I am! Or is it that people are outperforming me? I’m not comfortable working with people there? ~ I ponder!!! Remembering there were a few occasions when I talked to people where my interest lies, everyone commented that I’m suitable for PR (public relation), do u really agree? I kinda feel very weak everytime when I’m in this meeting with them, is it cuz I’m really that weak? Or is it cuz of my language barrier – can’t really express as freely as them? getting people to understand my ideas? At times, I realized my thinking is of different frequency as compared to others, as a result, people will just ignore/ by-pass me cuz they think that I’m being out of point. What’s wrong? Am I that “unique” that my thinking is so different from the rest? Being different might not be a bad thing, but I guess I’m being different yet not constructive to the topic. Or is it just cuz I’m not good at expressing myself, so people have difficulties in understanding me / my ideas, and therefore lead them to think I’m being irrelevant? Indeed, I feel bad 4 not being to be of any help in the meeting, even though Celine, who just join our marketing team, she can contribute well in the meeting. But why can’t I? Seriously, I don’t wana be a loser!! Help!!! At nite, I met up with Weichen (my best guy friend). Unfortunately, due to the collapse of tree trunks by the sudden thunder & lightning, I was late! Plus, I was thinking of dressing up cuz he said we would go 4 a nite shots… unexpectedly, he was referring to nite shots for the art pieces / structures… haiz… still wasted my time & effort in dressing up (or should I say dress down – to suit him?!) Thinking of going to the Japanese restaurant at Raffles City’s basement, but he suggested the one at explanade – oh mann! I think I’ve not been eating such “good dinner” for very long, the prices were rather steep and I feel kinda heart-ache to pay so much 4 a dinner! I think I must save up more already! ~ should have gone to the Raffles City’s one – much cheaper! And I won’t have over-eaten if I were to eat there. As an after-dinner walk, and to get my yoga matt @ Carrefour, I was telling him – I remember: in the past, I used to be like the character in the HK drama series (I’m watching now) – very straight forward, direct, simple-minded, talkative, active, cheerful… but why ain’t I like that now? Is it cuz I’ve really grown up? – my mum says so, he also agrees! Haiz… Is it really true??? I miss the “OLD - me”!!! ~ like the secondary school time. I feel so much more energized and happy! I WANA BE THE “OLD-ME”AGAIN!!! can I? Now I’m like… never feel happy (from heart)! Is that the reason why I’m so much more tone-down, don’t really have much to say? Somehow I feel I’ve been changed much by Adrian, and after Saturday’s “conference meeting”, I realized Adrian might not the best guy for me – to jimmy, Adrian is considered as childish (in mentality). But of cos, he has given me a lot of fun and joy moments that I’ll never forget!

11:36 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Monday, April 17, 2006
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unusual experiences...

today, cuz julia wana passed me my belated 21st bday present, so i went to gym with her. we chatted and headed to city plaza 4 her pedicure (supposedly). but cuz it's too expensive, we just went 4 foot massage! it's really a new n interesting experience! feel so "shuang" after being massage!!! cool.. even julia also did cuz she's bored waiting 4 me!

then, she brought me her friends' "home clinic" - it's distributors of amway, trying to recommend new products! julia tried face mask on me, after plenty of steps, finally my face is cleaned again! i understand it wil be different feel (cuz i din half 1st then the other half - so as to c the diff) but can't really tell visibly. after that, she kinda tried almost all products on me... the feeling is quite good cuz i hardly have skin care session like this!

"8.10... 8.30..." i was wondering what time will we leave cuz i'm starving... thinking of what to eat - no idea?! i cant eat carb at nite, but i don't wana eat so full! how?! luckily, just b4 we leave, the dinner (bee hoon) was ready!!! YES!!! and it's [claimed to be] very healthy cuz of the amway wok - cook without adding oil but simply just water! it taste yummy, (perhaps it's cuz i'm hungry) and so i ate 3 plates! so much! haiz... think the book is right - nv let urself go hungry, or else u will tend to overeat once u eat! eat the most n left the most (the fried onion and chicken skin).

after looking myself into the mirror - i was so delighted and happy, cuz i've rosy cheeks - as if i've just put on blusher! i supposed it must be the skin care products (musk & lotion), feeling so pretty - i have a urge to buy those products too! but after thinking it again, i think i can always use my mum's -- save $$$ mah!!!

11:29 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Sunday, April 16, 2006
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for the past 2 days, it has been a meaningful passing-time days... i was working - that's y din update blogging - SORRY - but also must THANKEW 4 ur support in looking fwd 2 my blog... haha... well... for the past 2 days, i think it's the only CLT that i'd so much FUN!!! Thanks 2 SERENE - our collegue (part-timer auntie) she is really making us LAUGH!!! i never c jimmy / edmund laughed until so "horrible" b4... i c they all laughed until lidat i also cant stop myself from laughing... Cuz this CLT is running by badges (5-6 per time slot, each time slot is about 45min interval). As usual, the respondents often late and some even last min didn't turn up. So we had alot of FREETIME to play mann... DAY 1 - [GOOD] Friday... i was so delighted when i stepped into the office - cuz i haven been seeing them 4 very long, somemore i saw serene (the crazy one) & pooja, i feel even happier. i can foresee how happy i will be. at 1st i din even know what m i supposed to do as a server, but no drinks? what do i have to serve then?! ... ORH!!! actually i'm supposed to play the ads (video) to the respondents, explain to them... - kum - (standby) interviewer ~ not too bad huh ?! somemore this time very relaxed, somewhat just nice - i can rest and at the same time earn $$$... haha.. surprisingly, maybe cuz of the good welfare, everyone seems like put on weight - most obvious ones are tracy & edmund, their faces are just like mine - more chubby now! what happened mann?! even jimmy's face also more "fleshy" now - but for him, i can understand - must be cuz of upcoming marriage, tat's y put on weight! the only thin one is jia hui, still as skinny as before! ~ how i wish i can be as thin as her?! hmm... when the nitz come - things get even more HIGH tide... Cuz it's public holiday, so we had MacDonalds as dinner. But if anyone of u have tried the delivery, i bet u will agree with me - the food all turn soggy, cold and super unappetising. i think the only satisfying one is the cup corn tat i ordered! haha... then, cuz of that, they were suggesting to complain, and after discussing it, serene really called up and made a BIG fuss to the manager ~ complained until they promised to send vouchers to (BOSS) edmund. Geraldine suggested to drink wine, with very low alcohol content (cuz it's blended with ice-lemon-tea), so serene drank like nobody business - 2 cups, as compared to one per head for the rest. that's not all! maybe cuz she seldom drink, so she got so HIGH --> started dancing [the auntie way] ~ it's super hilarious. even edmund also had to stop her "Auntie! that's enough!" if u ever had a chance to see her robotic-stiff-shaking legs dance, u will surely laughed like jimmy & edmund = stomach ache... then, when we had interview, she just started laughing at me when i was briefing the respondents, i wondered what does that means mann?! her face was so red after that... and after the interview, she started telling us diry jokes --> "washing machine" & "one-ten" & "nun & monk", it's really very rubbish!!! DAY 2 - SATURDAY Perhaps cuz pple (esp serene) hangover, serene (she didn't even comb her hair) , pooja & i were late... but ok lah! we managed to reach b4 the 1st group started. it's a slow day again! but it's not tat bad as compared to friday, at least the weather was sunny the whole day, unlike friday - all of us were so lathargetic.. we had better meals tdy also... we had porridge (lunch), and dinner [mixed veggie rice - at least no more sardine fish, but shuhong still had the largest portion of all - thanks to geraldine & serene, all gave their dishes to him, until his box cant be closed! i bet he must have very good welfare for the 2 days (cuz friday also lidat)!] tdy, our highlight is "conference meetings"... cuz we had alot of interval waiting time, so we are like discussing issues, sharing each other views.. topic was started by jimmy's wedding... then "do u believe in platonic friendship?", "what's ur ideal husband/ partner?" and all the indian wedding culture --> really very educational!!! Indeed, i've enjoyed myself alot through all these chats, hearing various points of view from different gender, age group... there are seriously plenty that u can benefits from it. Perhaps cuz i hardly have such chats, so i enjoyed it so much. the last time i had such chats - probably it's that time with adrian, jimmy & chin tat time ... very very long time ago... i guess i should have more of such chats... unexpectedly, we finished so early (8+pm). initially i tot we would end late, so i booked tix ("take the lead") at 12.15am... now i have to wait till so long! i kinda feel so sianz... so we walked around, went to Borders to look at books/mag cuz nowhere else to go, he's so "sticky" - standing right beside me while i'm reading mag, i felt super uncomfortable!!! i told him to look at other mags he like, he actually "trying to" be romantic, "i like what i'm looking at..." such mushy words really trembled me - made me shivered only!!! "eeee...." actually i realized i don't really have much thing to say to damon; in fact, i feel abit sianz of his "jokes" - lame & dumb... i supposed he is trying to tease me - trying to irritate me by trying to an evil to my diet... i just find it very dumb & lame & sick... probably i just don't really like pple to go against my way (i guess most pple feel the same as well)... then, the show should be very interesting - but i think it's too late and i was tired, i actually dozed off at the beginning of the show. luckily it's not tat nice at the start, the later part is more interesting! i don't know lah! just kinda cant stand him anymore lidat. i know he has been very nice to me, probably it's cuz of my mood tat day, or maybe he's really can't make it! like no mind of his own lidat! as i was wearing wedges, i feel that he is so damn short! i don't mean to be superficial, but he really cant give me a sense of "manhood" / security! [althou jimmy they all disagreed during our conference meeting] he was still so proud to tell me tat he chose a lady's cutting at the Levis' jeans sale cuz the guys cuttings are too large 4 him! i was like... erm... tat's really cant make it lor! no height yet still so thin! oh my gosh!!! i feel even bigger & fatter than him mann... :( anyway, for the past 2 days, i've had a great day! and i hope to have more fun for my future holiday mann... still got long way to go! wish me luck mann.. i just don't wana be idle!!! keep me company people!!

2:00 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Thursday, April 13, 2006
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SPEECHLESS again!? ... but this time is speechless CUZ... my exams are over! and holiday is ahead waiting break, - FINALLY !!!

Ever since my school term (one week) shopping? have fun? go out? ~ no no no ... there isn't any of those that i could have enjoy. ALL i had - work work work... everyday the routinary, Monotonous life… it’s really killing me. Suffocating me. But FINALLY – I’m free now! YEAH!!! Have been waiting 4 today 4 super long. As expected, I didn’t have any plan after exam, luckily my friend asked me 2 join her 4 lunch. We went to Bugis – I was so delighted to go as I haven’t been to shopping center for “ages”… Despite I was quite tired, I was motivated to go… so happy even thou I didn’t buy anything. Then, I guess the “going-out” mode is turned on (FINALLY), I was quite surprised that I stayed in MPH bookstore 4 like 3-4 hours, just to read books… I was very shocked with my behavior also, since I’m not a book person at all! And I’m like reading books??? Haven’t had enough from all the reading for exams yet? [Especially ethics – reading all the theories & arguments] or Is it cuz I’m so used to reading now, I can’t stop? Actually I was thinking of getting a book / magazine to keep me occupied for the time-being, while I’m still waiting 4 everyone [around me] to finish their exams. (so maybe finish early isn’t a good thing afterall!) Staying at the self-improvement section for like hours, I guess I’ve self-improved enough. Went on to get some musical enjoyment by buying a jazz cd, then headed home with a bowl of “dou-hui”(soya bean) for dinner. (Initially I didn’t want to have dinner, but thanks to my very 1st book “only fat people skip breakfast” – motivate me to lose weight by eating healthy) Wanting to be “QUEEN”for long, I’ve been reminding myself to take things as slow & relax as possible! Feeling at the top of the world, I really feel much much much happier now! I can see some bright-light shining at me, along with the long-waited Vic Secret catalogue; I was like enjoying my dinner with FEMALE mag & the catalogue. The feeling was so good as if I had never felt so great before. So there comes to a conclusion: I shall act and try to be a PRINCESS now – doing everything slow and easy. I think this is best way for me to release all the overwhelming tension accumulated in me. FINALLY I zzz for 10+ hours today, almost double of I normally do. Plus the weather (don’t know should I consider it as good / bad) I feel so lazy and free. The feeling of “FREE” is really very valuable to me now. Initially I still thought of going 4 a jog, but… I think I should pamper myself by giving myself a little break before really going full-force in getting into shape again. (somemore this weekend I’m working, so I guess it should be ok lah!) Having a lazy morny – ate my lunch -- now waiting 4 my fd to go shopping later! Just hope later will be a great time 4 me – I believe it’ll be!!! ;) I think I’m really tired MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY – that’s why now I’m feeling so much more positive with myself now. But again – the weather isn’t that good – causing me headache, but maybe cuz I zzz too much today. that’s y! ; p So I wanted to go 4 SPA / MASSAGE, cuz I think my body can’t take it anymore, but after “whackying” at the one Charm recommended, SPAs are really $$$ mann… haiz… but I really can’t wait 4 pamper myself by going 4 a massage mann… maybe I have to wait 4 my mum to bring me to the one she recommended. Hmm… although I can’t join my fds (208) to go Taipei this sem, I supposed there surely will have another chance. Yeah! For the past few days, I must sincerely say a big THANKEW to my dear fd – weicheng – who have been giving me support – listen to all my grumbles / complaints; showing concerns in my studies / updates… hmm… really great to have close fds like that. I guess he might be my closet guy-fd ever! ;) And just b4 my last paper, I managed to TALK to my mum. I was telling her how I feel. Successfully expressed my deep bitterness and difficulties to her, I can sense that she’s now trying to show more “LOVE” & “DOTE” on my. I feel so great – standing strong ALONE for so long, FINALLY I can be soften and be loved (in one’s cradle) again! I feel like a baby now! Haha… what can I say? LOVE is so powerful!!!

2:06 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Wednesday, April 05, 2006
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After a “vigorous” & “horrendous” outburst, I feel much better after crying … Replying calls immediately after my aftnn nap, I was so shocked & pissed to hear the surprise from my grp mate, “Can u come to sch at 5pm later?” [whereby it was 3pm already!] I was shouted at her instantly, I was super reluctant to get out of my house cuz I’m really very tired!!! I thought I can stay home one day (at least) to do my own work, since I know that I can’t study AGAIN tmr. Why must it be so last min? Worst! She told me to change my part yday, and now she told me that she has edited my part already! Being so nice of her, shouldn’t you told me beforehand? I was like squeezing my remaining brain-juice to come out with the part that she suggested to insert in. I was speechless when she keeps forcing me to meet up with her later. After remaining silence for quite awhile, I decided to hang up and talk to someone else. Luckily I managed to reach my fd and complain all tat I’ve got to vent out. I was so sianz that I wana give up everythg about the proj. But my grades still matter, and it’s a group proj, even thou I’ve given up on them (the worst proj grp mates EVER!!!) I should not be so irrational & risk my grade like that. It’s the last part of the course. So I’ve decided to go sch later before my whole tee become drench. After cooling down, in the midst of working on my powerpoint (ppt), tat gal called me – saying that I don’t have to go sch cuz we are not ready for presentation rehearsal. So we just do out parts individually and send to the rest of the 2 for compilation. Knowing that she planned to stay till 2am in sch to finish the proj, I feel kinda bad. Cuz I’ve already emailed the prof – asking for an appt to tell her what has been happening to me n them. I was so pissed just now that I really feel very sick of them! I’m not implying that they are bad people (in nature), just that their inefficiencies have exceeded my tolerant level. That’s y my fd also encouraged me to report to the prof. On the other hand, like my other friend said, they might turn the table over and ended up I’ll be the one suffering from greater loss. Furthermore, being a weak & easily persuaded negotiator, I worry that I won’t be firm enough for my stand. How? I’m hesitating now about the “reporting”! I just feel kinda mean to tat. Am I very bad? too selfish? Or m I doing what I should be doing? Pitying them that they have to stay till so late to finish up the work, and yet I didn’t go sch to help them out; on the other hand, just feel like being selfish 4 once to teach them a lesson. I know that they are very irritated with me – thinking that I don’t care and not being cooperative as well. I can’t be bothered, cuz they have left me with no choice! I wish I could have a wonderful time with them, in doing such an interesting project, but they are the one who makes me give up. So how? What should I do? Stay as firm as before? Or just cancelled the meeting? Or should I just make the issue less serious by emailing her what had happened, so I don’t have to meet her face to face? *argh! HELP!!!*

10:25 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
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4Cs = Kristal _ Ivena _ Moi _ Jiahui

Nego Grp = 5C (Surnames) Endrew_ Kris _ Sherrie (Instructor) _ Jiahui _ Ivena _ MOI something delighting to serve as my motivation...

Thinking of having meeting, class and meeting after presentation today, i feel so lazy n tired - just feel like giving everything up and just heck-care! Of cos, i can't! i think i'm very stress, even though i don't seem to be very anxious with my work. perhaps it's cuz of lack of sleep?! i'm over-eating again! *sigh* last sat i was still so happy to tell my fd that i've lost 1kg, but now, i put it back again! Haiz... Well! i really think i'm too easily get contented and not detremined / disciplined enough. This could be the reason why i'm so screwed this sem. Haiz... ANYWAY, backed to the topic 4 today - i'm sitting beside my YAN_DAO (eye candy) in class now! haha... able to c him again! *drooling* but unfortunately, this is the last lesson, and he'll be going back to his home town Czech Repulic / Slovenia this summer. Haiz... my friends - jiahui & wei ping are like teasing me just now! HAHA... this seems to be my de-stress "medicine" for today! Haha...

After a super long dae... i was so pissed with my CB grp mates lah! after Nego, we went 4 lunch - thou i dun have much appetite, just had some fruits, and i was so reluctant to go 4 meeting even thou i bumped into one of my grpmates. i was having so much fun in chatting with my nego grpmates - mainly cuz they all were teasing me with my yan-dao: i managed to take pic with him! haha...

Moi & Maritn (My Yan Dao)

Coincidentally, he was alone having lunch, cuz he had meeting at 4pm, so we chatted and the rest of them are like keep teasing me non-stop, even my grp - Endrew - rather quiet cuz he's the only guy & only year 3, also kept teasing me! OH MY!!! unfortunately, HE is rather quiet, qutie hard to talk to him. Endrew suspects my yan-dao is a gay ~ erm... i'm not sure?! perhaps - i'm not surprised! but who cares? i just enjoy looking at him - he's kinda cute! (thou the other one = daniel (in blue shirt) = is more charming than him)

All of them (4Cs) were drooling over him... they were teasing me about being SPG - so desperate to take photo of them (esp my eye-candy), yet at the end of the day, they all asked me to send them these photos! Damn FUNNY!!! haha.... Martin (right) - Yellow; Daniel (left) - Blue

Too bad! daniel left too soon, didn't manage to take a pic with him, only managed to take a few shots of him (illegally). tat was the most embarrassing thg happened today - actually! cuz my camera zoomed back on its own (cuz of the battery saving mode), so i forgot to off the FLASH light after i switched it on again, so immediately, everyone started turning their heads back, i was so shocked and embarrassed! i put down my camera instantly and looked at jiahui, pretending don't know what had happened! oh mann.. so embarrassing lor! think most of them know it mann... oh no....

well.. backed to my CB meeting --> i was late 4 abt an hour. i really cant be bothered already - they left me with no choice - i've already given up with them. yet they showed that they are not very happy with my attitude, just because i finished my part early doesn't mean that my part is very small lor! i was trying to clear all the tasks so i can concentrate in my revision. apparently i'm doing proj all day long, haven't been studying - and all my exams are on the 1st 3 days next week --> somemore all are so heavy, open-book also use! haiz... think i'm breaking down already! so tired (mentally)! now i still have a conclusion to do - they all don't have to do much lor! wad lau! i dun care! i wun be doing the compilation at all mann.. they are so inconsiderate! really very sick of them! i have to wait 4 them to finish b4 i can write my conclusion! they still sound so sarcastic that conclusion is very easy - if really so, why cant they just finish off? "wad lau eh!!!" giving me extra load only! haiz.. all these proj keep coming back made me cant study lor! really dunno how to manage my paper next week! CHUM!!!

as expected, after negotiating with the prof for like more than half-an-hour, he still refuse to change my grade! he's just an idiot! i really very pissed with him, after waited for him 4 so long, and at the end an unsatisfied reply really made me feel very exhausted! ~ really very s"hui"/"dao-mei" mann... just hope he'll keep to his promise for reserving some credit in my other component (CA).

then, after returning to my grp, i really pity them 4 putting so much effort into formatting the compiling the report now, and tmr is the dateline. i really feel very bad that i cant help much! i wana help out as well, but i still hvn finish mine and still have to study! i really feel very bad! SORRY!!!

12:40 PM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D

Dinner @ Sake Sushi (Wheelock)

Cafe - Chilled out @ Katong Road (till 3am) KC 208

haiz... supposed to study today, i thot i finish my report early then i can concentrate in my revision, but apparently, i've "wasted" my day on projects / reports. really find that this sem i screwed up again! initially i thot i would be able to improve my GPA (overall grades), i studied hard, worked hard, yet everythg turns out to be exactly the same as what the zodiac has predicted! i worked so hard 4 my stats proj, nearly broke down for the 3-days fieldwork, covered up so much 4 my group members, done so much more than expected, and what did i get 4 my grades? i've got an "B+" for the individual component evaluation (done by the TA = teaching assistant). WHAT the H***??? Seriously, i've trying to play smart - build rapport and be in [fairly] good terms with tat TA, yet he's treating me like this? Ironically, all my group mates get at least an "A-", and some get "A+" even though she put in so much less effort & time as compared to me. WHY is it always so unjustified for me? "work hard! u will surely get what u deserve!" (ethics: desert-based-rule in distributive justice) but why this never happen on me? many others can get their way through easily, but just not me?! why??? is it cuz of luck? or is it destiny? just like a few days ago, i was jumping 4 joy 4 being shortlisted for my internship - Assistant for Ads & Promo for GSS @ Suntec City, it's simply a perfect combination 4 me - interesting job scope, good & reputable company... but just the last part of the journey - i failed in the interview. what a disappointment? i was so upset! i woke up so early that morny, dressed up well, carrying a happy n positive "mood" for interview. even after the interview, i still thot i would probably get it cuz i think i've performed pretty well in answering the questions. unexpectedly, i was completely wrong. i lost this opportunity cuz i did not make as much relevance from my experience to the internship as compared to those 2 successful candidates. trying to look onto the brigthside - from 8 applicants to 5 shortlisted and final 2 employed, probably i can consider myself as abit lucky?! haha... (forcing myself to agree on it) well... luckily i've my beloved 208 celebration of LeeLoo's Bday - somewhat end my day much better. but another thing that is bothering me now is that -> my aunt is kinda making me feel bad for not going back to visit my grandma n attend her bday dinner celebration. despite she offered to sponsor 50% of my air fare, i still don't think it's worth it for just a 3-full days (excl the 2 days on travelling) for $200+ air fare. furthermore, it clashes with the taipei trip (208 is planning on). at 1st, i thot of sneakly join 208 to taipei for our 1st friends-only oversea trip, but... apparently i doubt i will go 4 either. Agreeing to chin, it's too rush (thou i think it would be fun to travel tgr), and very hard to enjoy since the schedule is so packed. but the main concern is still $$$, i've researched online on the air fare, OMG!!! all of them are so expensive! i was expecting $200+ (below $300), perhaps i'm too outdated - i was wrong (AGAIN!). now have to wait 4 them to make the decision then! haiz... seems like i'm gonna stay in SG again! -- looks like quarantinne! haha... hmm... despite tdy is kinda wasted on project, and tmr will be so too! (*Sianz) at least i can see my yan-dao! surprisingly (not really cuz he's really very handsome) my grp mate - jia hui also find him good-looking! tmr will be the last time i'm gonna see him - unfortunately! so i've equipped myself with my digit cam, must take pic with him tmr!!! seems like there's sth 4 me to look fwd to n de-stress! haha... (knowing that my exams are next mon-wed)

12:22 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D