YEAH!! DEAR is BACKED!! “YEAH! Dunit to bother with damon they all already. =) CuZ I’ve dear by my side. Suitors mean nothing 2 me anymore!” Feel like a xin-fu-xiao-nu-ren! (= Fortunate & Lucky woman) But I realized it was just my dream despite it felt so real! ~ “ Actually my feelings 4 u hvn changed. I still love u!” dear told me tat n I was so happy! So glad to be with him again. I’m free from all the insecurities, loneliness and uncertainties! I feel so delighted tat I’ve no words to describe tat moment of joy! But eventually, I realized tat was just my dream (last nite). Haiz... “DEAR! I REALLY MISS U! WHY CANT U BE BACKED WITH ME?!” Thinking of being backed together with him, all the fun n happy memories tat I will never forget. All the hugs & kisses, teasing and jokes... Really feel so great! I can’t imagine myself doing the same with anyone else. I think he’s the only one whom I can be so passionate & soft & weak & comfortable. The spacious & comfortable car tat he always drove me around with, to almost the whole SG to eat all the good food. Really find myself very bu-zen-qi, Y does my wt fluctuate so easily & much? If it’s not cuz of the wt problem, I guess both of us hv one huge barrier less. Really regret 4 not cherishing the good time n opportunities tat I’d. 4 the very 1st & last time, he was so furious & frustrated tat he threw his anger at me. I was so terrified tat I din even dare to speak a word, & my tears just dropped à which made me even more irritated cuz my tears embarrassed him. I have no idea how 2 control also, I was so terrified tat I have no idea wad to do, n my fear just released as tears. “u R the 1st person whom made me lost my appetite 4 the very 1st time!” He just drove me home without even eating half of the congee. I felt so bad! I just kept quiet and hope 4 the better. But I rmb he was really mad at me tat he din even tok to me on the way home. Sorry dear! I din mean to cause u so mad. But I was really very full -> had no appetite. Haiz... everytime he eat while I have no appetite to eat cuz I scare I will gain wt to eat at such weird hours. Cuz he always have irregular eating hours cuz of his irregular working hours. So poor thing! I wish I could have such irregular working hours -> so busy tat I can forget eating. Now I kinda have a typical eating style -> eat a lot during breakfast & dun eat 4 the rest of the day. U might think it’s a good habit cuz breakfast is the most impt meal of the day. But sometimes I realized I’m no longer the szeman in the past, which will only eat when I’m hungry. Every morny I tend to eat cuz I’m so used 2 eat in the monry - right after I wake up. And I’m so greedy tat I will eat till super bloated then I’ll stop. Eating with the company of a TV isn’t reallu a good thing besides helping me to feel less lonely while eating alone. Cuz I will tend to munch n eat more than wad I shld be eating. And without much self-discipline, I will be easily tempted to eat again in sch, cuz I’m bored? Tired? Lack of zzz? Haiz... HOW? Lidat how to effectively execute my diet plan? After this art fest, I tot I would lose wt or at least maintain my (satisfied) wt, but always the opposite happened. Worst, with many surprises, I actually gained 3kg since sch starts. OMG! And now I’m like eating so much more, so hard 2 reduce my appetite cuz I’m so used to it. Somemore I wana save $, so tend to be more greedy whenever there’s free food. Or even I feel kinda full, I will just finish it cuz I dun wana waste $. @ 1st I tot this “save-$” strategy is a good way 4 me to jian-fei, but apparently not! I tend to gain more wt if I keep thinking of that. Haiz... think I can only effectively lost wt if I go back to saffron hill again. Eveyrtime I will lose wt when I work there. Guess it’s cuz I’m so busy there, tat I dun even noe how 2 feel hungry. Dun care! Must be determined & strong à must reach my target of losing 3kgs!!! JIA YOU!!!