Slacking like a Muah-chee … ??? i've alrdy grown up & can't return to the past? Lazing in bed and trying to get as much rest as possible, I realized it’s already 10.35am! with 10+ hours of sleep, I supposed I’m really resting!!! But waking up with all the aches – I supposed they came from my gym session and massage yday! “ARGHHH…” Dragging my feet to school 4 dance production meeting, surprisingly I was the earliest – luckily I brot my lappie, otherwise I will bored to death mann… Apparently jun is not very happy with me being kinda “quiet” during the meeting cuz I rarely contribute / throw in ideas?! Hmm… at that point in time, there is a sudden “hit”on me à am I really cut out 4 advertising field? It seems like I’m not as creative as what I thought I am! Or is it that people are outperforming me? I’m not comfortable working with people there? ~ I ponder!!! Remembering there were a few occasions when I talked to people where my interest lies, everyone commented that I’m suitable for PR (public relation), do u really agree? I kinda feel very weak everytime when I’m in this meeting with them, is it cuz I’m really that weak? Or is it cuz of my language barrier – can’t really express as freely as them? getting people to understand my ideas? At times, I realized my thinking is of different frequency as compared to others, as a result, people will just ignore/ by-pass me cuz they think that I’m being out of point. What’s wrong? Am I that “unique” that my thinking is so different from the rest? Being different might not be a bad thing, but I guess I’m being different yet not constructive to the topic. Or is it just cuz I’m not good at expressing myself, so people have difficulties in understanding me / my ideas, and therefore lead them to think I’m being irrelevant? Indeed, I feel bad 4 not being to be of any help in the meeting, even though Celine, who just join our marketing team, she can contribute well in the meeting. But why can’t I? Seriously, I don’t wana be a loser!! Help!!! At nite, I met up with Weichen (my best guy friend). Unfortunately, due to the collapse of tree trunks by the sudden thunder & lightning, I was late! Plus, I was thinking of dressing up cuz he said we would go 4 a nite shots… unexpectedly, he was referring to nite shots for the art pieces / structures… haiz… still wasted my time & effort in dressing up (or should I say dress down – to suit him?!) Thinking of going to the Japanese restaurant at Raffles City’s basement, but he suggested the one at explanade – oh mann! I think I’ve not been eating such “good dinner” for very long, the prices were rather steep and I feel kinda heart-ache to pay so much 4 a dinner! I think I must save up more already! ~ should have gone to the Raffles City’s one – much cheaper! And I won’t have over-eaten if I were to eat there. As an after-dinner walk, and to get my yoga matt @ Carrefour, I was telling him – I remember: in the past, I used to be like the character in the HK drama series (I’m watching now) – very straight forward, direct, simple-minded, talkative, active, cheerful… but why ain’t I like that now? Is it cuz I’ve really grown up? – my mum says so, he also agrees! Haiz… Is it really true??? I miss the “OLD - me”!!! ~ like the secondary school time. I feel so much more energized and happy! I WANA BE THE “OLD-ME”AGAIN!!! can I? Now I’m like… never feel happy (from heart)! Is that the reason why I’m so much more tone-down, don’t really have much to say? Somehow I feel I’ve been changed much by Adrian, and after Saturday’s “conference meeting”, I realized Adrian might not the best guy for me – to jimmy, Adrian is considered as childish (in mentality). But of cos, he has given me a lot of fun and joy moments that I’ll never forget!