guilty ^ SAD ^ misses ^ NOSTALGIAS ^ frustrated mondae blues? seems like it's not only blues, but reds (=anger), blacks (=negativity), white (=frustrated) & pink (=fear) too... early in the morny, a crowd of CROWS were @ the roadside where i board the company bus everyday. i was so afraid when i saw those crows as i have to walked pass (through) them to go the other side to wait 4 the bus. it's really scary! even though i was kinda tired & sleepy, but i guess that's really a very good ALARM! in office, Ying Jie just came to me to get me 2 call triple-6 (grey shirt guy), i was kinda pissed with her, sound kinda irritated, "u call using ur phone lah!" she claimed that her phone not working, initially i heard some typing sound, i thought Wen Ying has came ~ why dont she just ask WY 4 help? Must be she purposely wana tease me by asking me to call (cuz she also know about 666-guy). later, "666" came 2 my table 1st, passed me my "breakfast" (green apple & pocky-the expensive type, with rapsberry flavor-choco coated) and the software that he said he will install 4 me 4 burning CD / DVD. soon, he left cuz of his call. *phew! being persistent, he's backed to check if the function is working. and when i walked pass the desk where he was doing some IT stuff, the way he "looks" (as good as stare) at me, really PHREAK me out! made me feel like i'm being WATCHED! OH mann... then, as i was getting my drink, i already keep watching out if he's around, and just as i thought i'm safe, a dark shadow suddenly approached me - "so how's the software? Working?" "What happened to u today?" "Something bothering u? or R u sick? " "u sure?!" i don't dare to say much but just nodded my head. i know i looked abit blurred today, probably cuz i didn't zzz enough last nite! especially to YJ, i don't know y m i picking on her like that! i feel so bad! i even confessed to WY as soon as she came. actually, i already felt that i'm picking on her even when we took the bus. i know i find her kinda weird to me, but i just hate myself for being so judgemental. Y m i such an evil? i felt so bad! worst, she still treats me so nicely - offer me a drink, complimenting on my new hairstyle... how could i have done that to her?! i'm really an EVIL! sharing my tremor with WY & Nikki abt 666 during lunch, we analyzed that he probably is someone eccentric & very "sticky", and heard that he just broke up a month ago ONLY! that's so soon lor! really very scary! tat's y WY suggested that i should BLOCK him & reject his "breakfast". i was so frightened to go online actually, i always have to see if he's online (which he always does) then i will dare to log in. But now i think i can be relaxed already - cuz i'm definitely going to BLOCK him after telling him not to buy my "breakfast"! i thnk i was quite lucky that i didn't go out with him last saturday! *phew! just now watched the last episode of "sin-liang-shi-ba-sui" (korean drama series), i felt like crying too - the scene of their grandpa passed away, made me imagine what will happened to me if i were to be in his shoes - i think i'll be down with depression again! i could feel the pain in me suddenly for that lost love (with adrian). and YJ just told me she might be quitting within this week - OH MANN!!! i never cherish the time we had together, yet i still bullied her! i really feel very very bad in me! i'm a UGLY & HORRIBLE & EVIL-HEARTED woman!!! I HATE MYSELF!!! **argh...