"One By One"

Monday, July 10, 2006
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Slept for THREE hours for the past THREE nitez (each)? I think I’m “SHENG” (GOD) … Jin-Bing (CRAZY)! After a rest nite on Wed, my busy schedule began on Thursday evening… > > Thursday: Rehearsal till 11pm < < We finally finished learning all the steps, but I still have lots more to “clean up” – I’m really slow in catching up the steps! Well… I’m trying very hard; I just hope that I can dance well that nite! But I think Sheila really very experienced, I think she noticed that I didn’t practise, probably cuz there isn’t much in my improvement. L >> Friday: BOSS, B.O.S.S & Dance camp @ 7.30pm << I was super stress that day – I didn’t even have appetite to eat, but just work all day long with a small tiny munch 4 lunch; cuz my BOSS seems like rushing me in my work also. I think he also find me working too slowly already! Haiz… Other than that, the most stressful thing is B.O.S.S (bidding system)! My friends all change their bids last minute, and I have already planned my timetable properly, now cuz of them, I have to keep editing my bids. That’s so irritating! Haiz… Y are people so last min & fickle minded? Really pissed me off! Plus I cant log in to Oasis (website 4 BOSS) from my office computer, I have to ask my friend to change 4 me. Sianz… Then, I also dunno why I was so “suay” (unlucky) that day also: In the morny, cuz of the over-crowdedness in the pantry, once I turned my body, I hit on one of the quite “spicy” permanent staff. (I meant not “advisable” to step on her tail kind) Luckily she didn’t angry with me. * She said lah! Don’t know how true it is! Lunchtime, cuz today is all the poly interns last day, I thought of going out lunch with them, so I told Nikki & Wen Ying (whom I always lunch with) not to bring lunch, but unexpectedly, the 2 poly interns (one of them is Lynn from KC) left without asking us! So I didn’t even know that they have left. Nikki asked me to go out 4 lunch on our own, but I was really have no mood to eat. So slamming her locker and she went out 4 lunch with Lydia (another permanent staff). I felt very very bad! I was the one who told her not to bring lunch, yet I didn’t go out with her 4 lunch. On the other hand, I was also unaware that they have already left. So it could probably not totally my fault? But somehow Wen Ying & I are afterall at fault. Cuz we decided not 2 go out 4 lunch, my intention was that Nikki can join Lynn they all 4 lunch, that’s Y I didn’t ask her to bring lunch after we decided on Thursday [after I told both of them not to bring lunch]. Feeling so guilty the whole day! I wanted to apologize, but she rushed off immediately after work, so I sms her. Luckily she wasn’t angry with me! *Phew!* After work, I rushed home immediately. cuz I didn’t eat enough 4 lunch, so I was very hungry. Under pressure from time-constraint, I hurried myself & munch whatever I could find in the house – oats meal, biscuits, milk… I overate so much. *Sharks… A short evening on dance practices & games, we had a production update meeting… Having a huge tin of Kong Guang biscuits in front of me, and everyone is like munching on them, I gave in to my temptation. Haiz… others might be just eating one / two, yet I’m eating like triple of theirs. I couldn’t control myself from eating biscuits, especially it’s like 1+ am already! Oh mann... what’s wrong with me? >> Saturday: 2nd day of dance camp << Subsequently, it has become a habit – on the 2nd nite, though we don’t have meeting at nite, I just munched on biscuits again! Sianz… On the 1st nite, we had a long & draggy meeting, and we (the welfare committee for the camp) only slept an hour! Wow… cuz we had to wake up earlier to prepare breakfast for them. Seeing all the milo, bread, peanut butter, jam, chocolate spread; Oh mann… I can’t stop myself from eating again! I ate like 3 slices of bread with lots of peanut butter & chocolate spread! (Same for 2nd day) Haiz… Really don’t know why I cant stop myself from all these nonsense. Well… though we keep dancing all day long, but I didn’t dance as much as them, cuz I’m only in one item – Bollywood. The rest of them are practising other items cuz those usually involves partner work & more people. So… and also my item is not that “important” as compared to the others. Most of them have gotten the steps except me. So I kept practising alone. Trying hard to keep motivating myself, but… at times I do feel kinda bored lah!

In fact, i do feel kinda out of place from the start of the camp. Cuz i'm not really close with anyone, except (maybe) Nicole? but she is one of the camp IC, so i can hardly talk to her. Fortunately, i'm part of the organising committee, so i can have more chances to talk to her, Rox & Amanda! Otherwise, i'll surely bored to death!

When we had our combined rehearsal (a trial full run), I saw the way that Emilin (my previous dance instructor) danced – WAO… it’s really very nice! I cant stop myself from looking at her. Even though when she was not dancing, I also kept peeping her [I know this sounds very Lesbian, but I’m just admiring her!] Seeing her becoming so thin n lean, I also feel like losing weight immediately, to be like her & the old me! I can really see that she lost weight! I wonder how did she do that? I guess now she will be my motivator for my dance n dietary program. Plus now, I’ve already got a detox program list from Jaenny (my cca mate), I shall try my very best to succeed in my long wanted goal! And finally, we managed to have more zzz… >> Sunday: last day of dance camp<< Yeah! Last day of dance camp! Everyone is having muscles ache, yet I didn’t really feel it. I think it’s cuz I didn’t practise hard enough? ! I only felt a slight muscles ache on Saturday. Damn! I think I only eat but work out enough to burn all the extra calories I put on! Maybe u will think that it is psychology, but I can really tell that I put on weight! The weighing machine said so too! Thought of having no lunch, then I decided to have a healthier lunch; but after a quite healthy & proper lunch, I munched on crystal jade yummy bread again! Haiz… after that, I was so tired, I didn’t even want to bath, but I just dozed off very quickly on the sofa! Waking up for a short while, I zzz again! my mum woke me up a few times, asking me to bath n go to bed, but I was so exhausted that I just went back to zzz on the sofa. Eventually, I woke up n bath, then chatted a little; ironed clothes and then I zzz. Now I really decided to stop munching on all the nonsense & snacks, I must work hard to lose weight! Or else I don’t know how ugly I will be when I wear the Indian costume on the concert! I shall target at Emilin’s flat tummy mann… I really admire her a lot now! I just hope that I can be like her. And to show her that I’ve improved a lot! I don’t want to lose face / be “ma-lu” (embarrassed) in front of her. So, I shall exercise as much as possible everyday now!!! Jia You!!!

8:36 AM
ONE PIECE FEVER =D