FULL of GUILT (1) Today is Becky's Belated Celebration, but I didn't go! n I know many of the 208 didn't go as well! I feel kinda bad that I couldn't even celebrate with her! (2) I promised my myself for not eating bread from this week onwards, but cuz my mum bought Chicken Pie & Bread which tempted me from resisting, I gave in & there goes my diet plan! :( (3) Wanting to do more work today since i have the whole afternoon available, but at the end, i gorged myself with bread after a bowl of fish meat soup, i went to zZz & with much TV entertainments! (4) Thinking of just check email as I can't focus on my revision on International Economics (IE), and a depressing news: I scored the lowest in my class for the last IE quiz... SHARKS!!! 56% for the test[where class average is 80+%]! Oh mann.. What's wrong with me? And knowing that my current project group has the lowest & highest scorer for the quiz! Feel so shameful! I don't know how mann... everyone is like scoring min. 30+ lor! And many are like scoring 40+! I thought i did so-so for the test, but i didn't expect myself to fair so badly! What's the problem with me? I really feel very guilty! I don't know where is my goal now like that! Is it that I'm too determined / distracted in where I wana "go" next time? Fly as an air-stewdess for 2 years contract & then land myself at Ogilvy, that's why I don't really have much motivation to study hard & score well? I used to think that this sem will be tough on me, cuz of the project loads and my weakness in econs, thus i deliberately planned to have only 4 modules this sem. But my plan doesn't seem to work as what I expected ~ Suffering from CAT [Computer As Tool - an EXCEL based module], not doing much for MPW, and now dying from IE! I really don't know how to improve myself! Like so lack of energy! Seeing everyone around me are so busy & stress with school work, yet I'm still so "free" to go gym & take afternoon nap! I really think I'm not in the right track! HOW? What shall I do? Now I'm even more freak out cuz I can't even feel that I'm freaking out! SHARKS!!!