i really think there's something wrong with me! everyone around me is so busy & stress, yet i'm just the opposite - free & relaxed. What's going on with me? is it because of my modules that i'm taking this sem is really too relaxed already, or it's just that i'm too slack? i really feel very uncomfortable for being so "free" u know? Haiz... Don't know what to do about it? and because of this, i'm getting fatter & fatter! i've been taking in very high sugar drinks & food, no wonder i'm just putting on weight without myself knowing it! now it has become so hard & huge lump of fats, i really don't feel very positive that i can lose them off! and the more i look at my past photos, i really miss the old me! so thin & confident in myself, as i can wear anything with my satisfaction level of beauty! now i think i just look horrible in anything i wear. n i have to hide those undesired parts! worst, being unable to wear my pants, and feeling tight with my old clothes & bottoms, the feeling really sux! i just look as if i'm bursting them anytime like that! i can't think of pageant contest anymore! with such figure [or i shouldn't even consider it as figure], i don't think i can any confident to compete with others! feel so sianz... worst, i don't seem to be as busy as other people around me! i really feeling very unsecure now! it's like i'm so relaxed! and it's not that i'm doing very well in all subjects, but just lack of the drive n motivation to do anything! i really hate this feeling! suddenly i just miss working at saffron hill, though it's rather stressful, at least it kept me busy, and i always lose alot of weight working there! but apparently i have to be more strict with myself! NO MORE sugar!!! next week is my term break, but i just don't feel very excited about it, cuz so far, it's either scheduled with projects / empty! What a life i have?! Other than school work, don't i have other side of life? I seem to have no social life at all! How can it be? thus, i think next week will be just a lonely n miserable week for me! i think i'm a 100% workaholic! even though tmr i have a mid term, i'm still so slack - spent the whole afternoon on changing my blog design. Instead of studying! Somehow i feel that i've too much time to spend like that! this is really not right! Oh no... well.. i thought of going for a jog later, but just hope that i can have enough time to study too! Otherwise, i think this sem i'll really can't make it! this friday is mooncake fest, but just happened to be Chin's bday party. Surprisingly KH wana go Chinese Garden & play lanterns! Haha... i also long time never play lantern already! Esp the paper type! maybe tmr we will go n play! haha... so funny rite? so old already - both 20+, still play like 12 years kids! But most imptly, i think we will probably have fun?! Haha... :) It has been years since we last met, though we have just chatted not long ago. But i think it's still alright lah! [judging from the way we last chatted] anyway, Happie Mooncake Festival in advance!