I've tried many ways to get myself back to study, but i just feel so distracted & always trying to do sth else to escape from studying! but on the other hand, i'm kinda worried about that i can't finish! i just feel that my heart no longer as focus as i used to be in the past as a student! i'm always thinking of sth else! what's wrong? i'm not in love, i'm not working, what is in my mind that keep me away from focusing? is it cuz my goal no more in scoring A but just want to get a decent grade by passing the subj? seems like i have no clear goal in me, but just keep on feeling frustrated with myself for doing things that i always regret after doing it [like eating junks]

What do i need? what can i do? what should i do? time is running out, and i don't have that sense of urgency! what's going on with me?

Still remember the last advertising presentation, i was so tensed that my whole body was shaking... i know that's not sth pleasant to happen, but i want that feeling, that sense of urgency, to be feared, to be scared, at least that can speed up my efficiency! But right now... i really don't know what to do beside complaining to the blog everyday that how frustrated i'm feeling. i have no one to complain to, to listen to me, neither can i cry it all out [emotionally explosion] - sometimes i really want to cry out loud, but i can't force it out.

What should i do? Can i induce crying?

Labels: what should i do?